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"Better Than It Is" - A Reflection on Life's Unspoken Desire

In life, we are all chasing a simple desire: to make things better than they are.

Be that in our relationships, careers, health, or even just our day-to-day existence, we're always striving for "better." And really, isn’t that what we all want at the core? To create a life that's just a little smoother, a little more joyful, a little more secure than it was yesterday.

It’s a tough balance because, at the same time, I believe we also need to find joy in what we already have and maybe, just maybe we don’t need better? I have my struggles with my brain, many do, I am surely not alone. Yesterday though, I can recall a moment of joy. Of pure happiness. It was arriving home from a road ride. We pedaled for an hour, an hour with some hard pushes, some steady rolling, and best of all, some side by side riding on the trail where we get to just talk and chat while we ride. Coming down the hill to our home, we always have a little coasting competition ( don’t worry, I always win this unless someone (not naming any names here) decides to sneak in pedal strokes behind me LOLOLOL), anyway, pulling into the driveway there was just simple happiness. Simple joy. When did we lose that as humans. When did simple joy become not enough?

Anyway, back to better than it is…

While we crave to make our own lives better, so often we struggle with wanting the same for others. And that’s the point I want to make here.

There's a part of us, hidden beneath layers of kindness and goodwill, that flinches at the idea of someone else having it better than us—especially those close to us. It’s almost as if we’re wired to see another’s gain as our loss.

Think about it: how many times have we heard stories of parents who, consciously or subconsciously, don’t truly want to see their children surpass them? There's that subtle resistance, a tension between wanting the best for them and the silent fear of being left behind.

Fun internal struggles right? We see it everywhere—from friendships to families, to coworkers. The closer we are to someone, the more their success or "better" can feel like a mirror reflecting what we lack.

But what if we dared to think differently? What if, instead of fearing that someone else might have it better than us, we celebrated it? What if we saw their success as proof that "better" is possible for us too? Imagine how different the world would be if we not only chased "better" for ourselves but also rooted for others to get there too—without envy, without hesitation.

Imagine if we could normalize that phone call or text from a friend where they are sharing good news, a win, a level up?

Much like normalizing “I need help now” (coming next week in a post) - can we normalize calling our friends and sharing our wins without feeling guilty?

At the heart of it, we're all striving for a life that's better than it is. And when we truly realize that someone else's "better" doesn't take away from our own, we open up a path to something far richer: a community of people uplifting each other, celebrating each other’s wins, and collectively making life just a little bit brighter.

Because in the end, when we help others get to "better," we inevitably find that we do too.

Taking The Time -

I do have one ask here, it’s easier asked then done.

Take the time though…

Take the time to love.

• to smile

• to thank

• to find joy

• to slow down

• to take the journey

• to call a friend

• to write a letter

• to be present

• to realize you do have time for one more hug.

And if you’re a parent, to stop and give your child that one extra moment.

Picture this, you’re backing out the driveway and they’re watching from the window. STOP! Jump out of your car, run back inside and give them one more hug. Maybe they’re waving from the front steps, STOP! Jump out of your car and give them one more hug. If your children are older. STOP! Send them one more text or make one more phone call.

There are so many reasons why, but we don’t need to get into that. You can decide on your why.

Nope, I lied, the biggest “why” I can think of right now is simple. There’s always a chance you won’t make it home for dinner. That’s dark I know. But the truth isn’t always shiny….

Don’t Allow Anyone To Decide For You

(Legal Statement: this is more of a ramble about nothing)

Real quick, before we go. Can you think about one more thing… I know, I know, I’m always asking that.

Really though, let’s just think about one more thing. And I’m going to use my art as an example.

In art, there are “rules”. At their core rules are / were made up to fit someone else’s agenda or needs.

Did you catch that, “MADE UP”

From the earliest civilizations to modern times, the rules we follow—whether written laws, social norms, or unspoken expectations—were established to fit the needs, values, and goals of a particular group or authority.

Things that were once just ideas made up by someone else, often reflecting their own priorities or desires. Yet, because they've been passed down through generations, we tend to view them as natural or necessary, forgetting that they were once designed to serve particular needs.

Understanding this gives us a new perspective on the rules we follow. It reminds us that while some rules serve to keep society functioning smoothly, others might no longer fit today’s world—or our individual needs. And perhaps, with this awareness, we can find ways to challenge and reshape the rules that no longer serve us.

So I guess that’s what I’m asking. What rules are in the world that don’t totally fit your life. I’m not saying to go rob a bank. Are there any for you?

In art, it seems that expectations are you find and fit into a niche. You follow those rules and that’s what you do. I can’t do it. There’s too much in my head that I want to get out. There are rules about what colors to use together, rules about layouts, rules on how a brushstroke should be. Forget it all. Just create how you want. Just live how you want!

(Unless you want to live like an asshole. in which case, yea don’t - Always choose kindness. LOL)

So I’m asking you this, see yourself for who you are and do the things that you want to do without worrying about what rules you need to follow. Like what you like, create what you want to create. There doesn’t have to be a mold for you. There shouldn’t be a mold for you!

Yesterday I was reminded that I tend to always just move in the direction I want to move without thinking about what everyone else is doing.

I suppose from a young age, I always have. Crazy how things in childhood have created pains and anxieties but at the same time, created me. Just here doing my own thing. I should probably thank my mom for that.

Anyway, that’s what I want for you. SO BADLY Want for all of you.

Do what makes you happy. If a walk makes you happy, go walk! If running makes you happy (I don’t actually know how this is possible) GO RUN! If sitting and reading makes you happy, sit… and read… 

Live the life you were meant to be. Even if that means, living like “Tim”

For now, and always, YOU GOT THIS!

~Tim